| 100 Secrets of Great Relationships Essay
It Is Impossible to Find Something and Someone without a Thorough Search
I am inclined to believe that only those people, who are looking for something and considering various options thus expanding their interactions with new people, can finally find someone special and find a true love. Whether we want it or not, but we live in a constant rush and according to a certain plan that is tremendously limiting. There is a set of the most common places and sources in order to get acquainted with someone such as, for instance, school, college, university, work, friends etc. However, what if our true love and destiny require us to look beyond the cover and try some other options? I am sure that it is necessary to make a thorough search, and it is also useful to use particular services for this purpose as every rule and situation has some exception. So, why not try? I think that I will try this service one day, and I hope it will help me find my true soul mate if needed.
Analyze Your Expectations and Define What You Really Need
I am sure that having too high expectations is the main source of many problems in every relationship. Moreover, some of the traits that seem to be extremely attractive from the first view, turn out to be of minor importance later as priorities change, and people somewhat change too. It is an important thing to consider and think of as people tend to confuse their needs with rash unreal expectations. It is possible to improve your relationship if you manage to clearly define your needs and then let them serve as a guide in your relationship goals and all the decisions. As an example, it is possible to implement this idea in the following situation:
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I had been dating with Ann for nearly a year, and this was my first serious relationship. However, we broke up as I accused her in lack of attention, indifference, and I thought that she did not appreciate me. However, now I understand that I had too high expectations concerning her. Partners should understand that everyone has his own life, and everything cannot be always ideal and the way we want it to be. I understand that people also may have bad mood or some other problems, and I could not always be the center of Anns world. I will surely consider this experience for my next relationship and will not let high expectations spoil everything.
Remember Your Own Ideal and What Really Matters to You
I agree that there is always some first image in our mind that appears as a result of media or our friends influence, and thus, we have some cliché of our future mate and relationship. Some of these images can turn out to be the result of our ill-informed imagination, especially during the young age.
In my own relationship, I always try to discuss all the personal expectations and feelings in order to avoid undesired conflicts and serious misunderstanding. I am very happy that I can discuss all these things with my best friend Joseph. I share all my plans, ambitions, and dreams with him. I highly appreciate his support every time I have troubles, for instance, when I catch cold or have some other serious disease. I have many good acquaintances, but I am very happy that we have been friends with Joseph for such a long time already. However, sometimes, I think that Joseph is some much alike me, and I do not think that he may have other tastes, in music for instance, or that he may have an absolutely different opinion that I should accept at any terms. With the help of this advice, I will surely improve our friendship.
The Past Should Be Left Behind, Life Moves Forward
I think this is a very crucial piece of advice as we often get disappointed in our relationship as we try to compare our lives to the way people used to live before. One of my closest friends is really concerned about this matter. The thing is that literature is a significant part of her life, particularly classical literature, and thus the majority of her beliefs concerning family, love, and relations are based on it. She feels really disappointed that now, the notion of a family has changes so much, and the rate of divorces has significantly increased. However, times change and some traditions change too. The main difference is that now people have much more alternatives and options as compared with the past. Although people have more freedom, still, the level of commitment remained unchanged, and this is what really matters.
Be Sincere and Open with Your Soul Mate
My belief is that lie, envy, betrayal, reticence etc. cannot be the fundament for a true friendship and relations in general. The situation my close friend told me about her parents served as a bright example for me. The thing is that her parents divorced after nearly 25 years of life together. Their divorce turned into a huge scandal and even family tragedy as these people could not stop accusing each other in every fault. As she later told me, according to her mothers words, they were never close, and there was no deep connection between them; only children and daily routine. This example showed me how important it is to be open with your partner, and that every healthy relationship makes you share both good and difficult moments in your life. Now, I am sure that I will never have secrets from my beloved and I will never lie them as I understand how painful this can be.
Music Can Unite Our Souls
This simple secret of great relationships seems to be extremely close to me. Music is an inevitable part of my life and it really helps me overcome a great number of difficult and tense situations. Having similar tastes in music with my partner is very important for me as in such a way we can become even closer. Music has a unique feature to connect souls, permeate thoughts, and dissipate tension. It is a great medicine to raise spirits and relax. Every time I see my partner stressed or disappointed, I try to use this little secret. We visit many concerts together, listen to favorite music at home or in the car, make records for each other, and I must say it helps a lot as we are very close.
I have been already using this small secret; I just did not realize that.
Find the Balance between Your Personal Life and Career
Balance is one of the most difficult things to obtain in the life, and many outstanding and distinguished personalities agree with this fact. Family and career are two essential aspects of our life, and if you have clear priorities, you will be able to find particular balance between them. It is also important to consider the fact that men and women have rather different attitudes concerning the balance between career and family. This piece of advice made me think of my own life and the way my parents find this balance between career and family. My father works very much, and I see that he is completely exhausted every evening. This is a real torture for me, and I would like to fix this and improve the situation someway. I am going to find at least some partial job in order to help him. I want to see him happy and spend more time with him. I understand that this may be difficult to combine study and work, but, at least, I will try.
Share Household Chores
I have noticed this problem quite often in my life and I agree that it causes many unpleasant disputes and quarrels. It is necessary to face reality and understand that there are many everyday duties and responsibilities that we should consider. Every person wants to enjoy life, and there is hardly someone, who would like to spend every day cleaning the flat. Although some people think that it is no difficulty to clean the flat, do the washing, and etc., still, these activities require much time, and as a result, you feel completely exhausted.
I completely disagree with the stereotype that it is the task of a woman to fulfill all these duties. I am inclined to think that every couple should try to share these household chores in some way and help each other. I highly appreciate that my girlfriend helps me so much and does all the household chores, however, now I understand why she is often angry about it. I will try to help her in this duty. First of all, I am going to discuss this issue with her, and then, we will share the workload in some way.
Your Own History Depends on You
Experience is a priceless thing, either good or bad. It is wrong to take the world green and easy, and it is important to understand that far not every relationship is going to have a happy ending. Unfortunately, some marriages do not last long, and couples break up. Besides, every day, we hear stories from our friends, relatives, media that terrify us; and the worst thing is that we stop believing in love and true family happiness. My best friends parents have divorced this year, and she had a terrible experience and many worries this year. She told me that she does not believe in marriage anymore and she sees no sense in getting married. However, I told her that all these examples should not be perceived as fearful ones they should be perceived as good lessons that can help us in future life, and that can help us avoid similar mistakes. It is wrong to limit yourself to someone elses experience, as you never know what destiny has for you. And, although I have this fear too, Ill try my best to create a healthy relationship and save my marriage at any terms.
Love Is All around You, Appreciate It
In my opinion, this is the most important piece of advice in order to build healthy and happy relationship. It is impossible to love someone, if there is no love inside of you. People tend to pay much attention to all the problems that surround them in everyday life, all the negative aspects, and, in such a way, we often do not pay attention to the good things that are very close to us as well. I think that comparison is a very good thing in such a situation as it helps see clearly what your life looks like. Many people suffer from illnesses, terrible accidents, deaths, and there are many more serious things that you are lucky not to face in your life. It is important to appreciate the love that is around you and the people, who love you.
Every time I face some difficulties in my life, I remember that I have an amazing family that supports me, great faithful friends, and these thoughts make me strong and help me overcome all the obstacles and difficulties. Love is a great power that keeps us breathing and living. So, why not share it with someone else, with so many close people?
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