Writing the Research Paper sample essay
1. Identify the subject of your peer’s research paper?
The research paper was an exposé on the activities of hackers in gaining unauthorised access to the internet and the government action to deter them.
Explain why the subject is too broad, too narrow, or appropriate for the length of the paper.
The subject is too broad for this kind of paper because the paper was not able to touch on the fine details that would have made the subject more explicit to people who are not conversant with the computer. The writer made mention of a lot of terminologies that could have been explained if the paper had been longer.
2. The thesis statement is: stopping hackers from causing more harvoc.
The sentence that, in my opinion, expresses this is : “Wi-Fi and ceasing the hackers endeavours”
3. I have singled out this paragraph:
“Protection against wireless hacking is extremely difficult to keep secure. There are products developed that require no configuration of any firmware or upgrades of any kind. Wave Security has developed this software. The software is used to detect any threats and secure the system. WaveSentinel handles intrusion detection, monitoring and logging for standard access points. WaveScanner integrates with the existing TCP/IP security scanners to reveal specific wireless vulneratbilities.”
It is quite explicit as it attempted to find the solution to the nagging problem of illegally connecting to the internet via other people’s wireless connection. This paragraph is easy to comprehend and any reader would be eager to know more about this solution as it was presented as a very simple and attractive solution.
4“In all the precautions and security factors with Wi-Fi I have found it seems wardriving is still quite popular and hidden from most internet users knowledge. `Chances are that a WarDriver hacking a bank may get away with it, leaving the Wi-Fi owner the suspect. Thousands of clueless people, including those in tony apartments with wireless internet, have leaky networks-allowing anyone on the road easy access to the Web’ “
a. That need to be supported with more specific details.
“This free wifi will reduce the hacker’s urge to steal and feel like the hacker did any monetary damage to you”
“In all the precautions and security factors with Wi-Fi I have found it seems wardriving is still quite popular and hidden from most internet users knowledge”
b. That contain any logical fallacies/faulty reasoning. Recommend strategies to improve the effectiveness of those paragraphs.
I found these statements illogical to say the least. It seem as if the native language of the writer is not English language, or better still, the writer has not mastered the basic rules governing the use of the language. There are actually better ways of constructing these sentences that would be both simpler and more explicit. I hereby suggest the following amendments to the statements.
Since the beginnings of computers capable of accessing wifi “from the time computers have been able to accessing the internet using the Wireless Fidelity (WIFi) technology hackers have had their enjoyment in war driving “ in the times past, hackers have had a swell time enjoying War Diving” Data encryption needs to become harder for hackers to figure out “The technology of Data Encryption needs to be more sophisticated in order to deter intending and potential hackers from carrying out their heinous act” Protection against wireless hacking is extremely difficult to keep secure “ Security against illegal intrusion is not an easy task to achieve”
6. Identify places in the paper where the author fails to maintain an objective point of view. What steps would you recommend to the author to correct the problem?
Throughout the paper, the writer made use of references to support his claims. He however lifted these phrases and the result is that they all did not blend with his own words, the tone was different.
7. Check the writer’s sources and documentation format for both in-text citations and the References page to ensure that they conform to APA requirements. Identify any errors that need to be corrected in the final draft.
8. Identify any missing elements for the essay (title, abstract, thesis statement, and support for claims, in-text citations, conclusion, or reference list).
The title, abstract, thesis statement, in-text citations and conclusion were all included in the paper.
9. Identify any unity or coherence issues that you find.
10. Identify any areas where more effective use of transitional words and phrases would improve the coherence of the essay.
In the body of the essay, the writer made use of several sources without regard for the tone of the words. Most of these references, however helpful they are, still ended up jumbling up the whole paper as the whole thing were distorted.
11. Additional Comments:
The paper is very informative and it contained a lot of facts. However, the writer failed to sieve this facts to being out what could have been a more coherent paper. Most of the references contained information that enriched the paper. However, they all had different tones both formal and informal. The result is a collection of paragraphs that I can describe as disjointed. Coherence was lacking throughout.
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